dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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