I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize