I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is wine microwaveable?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
