3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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