Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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