Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Sober January is a disaster.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
