hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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