Porn is love you can see.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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