After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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