walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He felt like a one man threesome
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
