Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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