You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize