youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
