but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
