Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
