I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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