We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize