They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize