The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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