let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
