I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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