Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
