Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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