thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
