You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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