Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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