You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
