we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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