marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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