I'm really into asian looking animals
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
