He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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