You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You are the jesus of drinking
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
