i just wanna soil my oats bro
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
