We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
