Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
