drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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