nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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