yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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