he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
