Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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