Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
