Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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