Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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