I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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