theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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