Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize