Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
