I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize