Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
