i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
