from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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