Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
