wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
