I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
