dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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