If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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