Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
