she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
