haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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