On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
