you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
